My work is focused on Istanbul and its personal psychogeography. Adopting documentary as a secondary function, I tell stories using the scenes of my city. My distinct colour palette is a derivation of the look of Italian giallos from the ‘70s, and I take cues from the cinematography of classic horror films in my visual language. All of my photographs take place in the daytime.
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August 29, 2023
This is the first photograph of my new story, taken with a small camera in near-darkness, resulting in a grainy mess. Despite its imperfections, I love it dearly as it encapsulates my relationship with Suzan.
Suzan took her own life at the age of… I don’t remember. Fourteen? It must be fourteen.
We had a small group of friends in middle school, and all the boys were in love with Suzan. She was my girlfriend.
Her death has become an urban legend in the city. Did someone really jump off that skyscraper? Yes, Suzan did.
Revisiting these memories doesn't come easily, to be perfectly honest. And I keep finding myself exploring these kinds of themes in my stories, but what can you do? This is the only life I've had.
I'm going to photograph a story about her, and the title of the story will be "We Were All in Love with Suzan (Hepimiz Suzan’a Aşıktık)."
I'm going to explore the possibilities of her life if she had lived. I know the bands that she liked: Nirvana, Korn, Metallica... You see, we were just discovering our tastes in life. What else did she listen to? Maybe, In Flames? I will remember. She almost always wore black, but I never saw her wearing makeup.
Small things like these add up to complete a portrait of her in my mind. She was a Spring child, and I remember telling her how she smelled like Summer. I can perfectly visualise the last time I saw her.
Throughout my life, every time I listened to Morrissey's song "Angel, Angel, Down We Go Together," I always thought of her. How I wish we could have discovered Moz's songs together, but I don't think she even knew he existed.
The story will take place in two locations: Ataşehir, where we grew up, and Kadıköy, also where we grew up. I have decided to make this story black-and-white (she would have loved that, I bet), but we'll see.
Now that the story is out there, all I need to do is time-travel back twenty-something years. I hope I can come back without being hurt too much.